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ChildDrenched: Thoughts about Final Thoughts

Parents often forget to count their blessings in life until life takes a frightening turn.

While vacationing during the holidays in December, I was on my way for an early morning walk when my luck seemed to run out. Starting from the sixth floor of my hotel, I planned to take the stairs for my “warm-up”. As I approached the elevators on my way to the stairway, I saw a couple who were on the tennis court near us the day before shortly before we were all rained out. They were off to the courts to play again and we got to chatting about the weather, and other matters, when the elevator arrived. I decided to get in with them, rather than taking the stairs and cutting our conversation short. Shortly after the doors closed after our stop on floor five to let a bellman aboard, the elevator started to move, thumped once and stopped.  The digital sign went dark so we were unsure which floor we were on.  The bellman had a walkie-talkie and communicated our situation to one of his colleagues. Since cell phones and the phones installed in elevators rarely work, I felt fortunate to have been stuck with a hotel employee. He was promised that a security officer would be called immediately. I started to panic, thinking that a security officer may not know how to get an elevator to work without calling a technician, who could take hours to show up.

At that moment, I began to wonder what my family (all still safely tucked in bed and not answering their cell phones) would become without me should the elevator suddenly crash down to the basement. I thought about my two sons, both adults, who would be devastated but have essentially been raised already—as much as college and high school students can be considered as grown up and “fully cooked”.  I worried the most about my daughter, age ten, who still had her potentially problematic teenage years ahead of her. My daughter, demonstrating her new independence as a tween, already finds ways to torment my husband by arguing about insignificant issues on a daily basis.  In addition, he was already worried about training bras and phase two of “the talk” so raising her alone was unthinkable.  I was worried that without me, they would suffer terribly through the next eight years, especially with both boys out of the house.

I lost my mother to breast cancer when I was age 33, shortly after my second son was born.  We were very close and her loss devastated me in many ways, not to mention the rest of my family. I have a similar close relationship with my daughter and am just beginning to see how her coming maturity will change how we relate to each other. I could not imagine leaving her at such a young age. We adopted our daughter at birth and somehow taking on that responsibility made it even more imperative that we keep her safe, warm, educated and happy, at least until she can take care of herself as an adult. Having a mother, as well as a father, would be critical to her happiness over the next ten years. I just couldn’t leave her. Although being stuck in an elevator may routinely happen more frequently than I knew, I was determined to get out quickly.

During the eight excruciating minutes while we waited to be rescued, all four of us were running the “what-ifs” through our heads. It doesn’t take long to consider the most negative consequences. I walked up to the doors and tried to pry them open. Clearly, I wasn’t strong enough but the two men took over the project and got the doors to open.  We were just below the fifth floor and it only took a little bit of athleticism to crawl out to safety.

It didn’t take me long to thank my lucky stars, text my family that I was okay (in case they woke up to my previous panicked texts), and head down the stairs to freedom. My daughter <read more>

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Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
RHG May 17, 2013 at 03:08 pm
How did this go from "Ways for San Leandro Teachers to Save in the Classroom" to aRead More advertisement for Staples? I am wondering what Jessica Mitchell does for a living.
california girl May 18, 2013 at 08:05 pm
I loved the green tea!
anthony May 17, 2013 at 01:01 pm
go nuts, or one of each... for later of course. would go scone myself, old habits die hard.
Leah Hall May 19, 2013 at 01:59 pm
Young man! The stormtroopers get into the act.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuJXaVrvpXE
Justin Agrella May 19, 2013 at 09:43 am
http://youtu.be/78LAgl90UyM
Leah Hall May 16, 2013 at 05:04 pm
Youth development, healthy living & social responsibility... ...in San Leandro! For the firstRead More time ever! Thanks to everyone who brought the YMCA "Move-A-Thon" to San Leandro and all the families that participated! -Leah Hall SL Human Services Commissioner & Volunteer YMCA Youth & Government advisor (for our San Leandro delegation comprised of San Leandro high school students)
anthony May 18, 2013 at 04:31 pm
remembered reading this here, maybe ther's a forward in thereRead More somewhere...http://sanleandro.patch.com/groups/politics-and-elections/p/local-hungry-families-helped-by-urban-farmer. Don't hold me to this one, but I thought Tim at Zocalo Coffee was a keeper.
Richard Mellor May 15, 2013 at 06:38 pm
I have a friend who has just had a hive put in her garden If you would like me to put u in touchRead More with her contact me at aactivist@igc.org
Analisa Harangozo (Editor) May 15, 2013 at 12:02 am
Thanks for posting in our Announcements Board, Christa! I shared this on our Facebook page. I hopeRead More this helps you in your hunt for honey bees :)
RHG May 17, 2013 at 03:46 pm
First let me say sorry for the loss of one of your family. Ive been keeping my eyes pealed incase IRead More see him. But I'd recomend since he is going blind, it might be easyer for someone to catch him if we knew his name. Just a thought. Hope for his safe return.
Carol Parker May 14, 2013 at 08:45 pm
I'm happy to report Buster found a forever home on Mother's Day. There are other bassets availableRead More for adoption on Golden Gate Basset Rescue's website, however. Adoptable dogs will be on hand June 9 from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Pet Food Express on Blanding Avenue (in the shopping center of Nob Hill Foods) in Alameda. Come down and see some hounds up close and personal.
Sarah Nash May 10, 2013 at 02:18 pm
Just had a chance to read this story. Loved it! While I believe that conscientious students wouldRead More try their best at the test, as I did when I took state aptitude tests in school, I can hardly imagine staying up nights worrying about it! There is nothing at stake except perhaps personal satisfaction so the test itself shouldn't impose stress. A high-strung parent, on the other hand, might.
David April 27, 2013 at 03:09 pm
Oh come on, Rob. You talk about me cherry picking stuff? 10/10? Sure. And as I've shown you canRead More pull out Maxwell Park, North Oakland, parts of SF (Glen Park, for example), parts of El Cerrito and other locations to show that API scores aren't well-correlated with property values. Again, why do homes sell for the same $/sq foot in Maxwell Park as Estudillo Estates? San Lorenzo's API is about the same or better than most of SLUSD. Property values there are lower. The clearest example of what effect API scores have on property values was mentioned below, about a 10% difference depending on which side of the tracks, er, 580 you live on in Castro Valley. 10%? whoopdedo, that kind of variation is washed out when you factor in commute times, crime, amenities, etc. In fact, API scores are likely to continue to shrink as a factor in RE values as more and more parents flee the public schools, no matter what the API (witness SLUSD, the 30% drop in OUSD enrollment in just the past decade, etc). In another generation, we'll be accused by our children of child abuse by having sent them to public schools.
Rob Rich April 27, 2013 at 12:38 pm
If you accept the premise that API scores are poorly correlated with real estate vualues, then is itRead More coincidental that the top school districts are in areas with high real estate values? http://www.greatschools.org/find-a-school/7046-ten-california-school-districts-highest-test-scores-2012.gs. In the old days, 10 for 10 was considered pretty good correlation.
David April 15, 2013 at 09:58 am
To my point. Fred, we can agree to disagree, but here's my point: Leah, you have repeatedly sungRead More the praises of BUSD. More than a few of your neighbors and those in the other upper middle/lower upper class areas of SL think similarly. BUSD, as I have also pointed out, does a *worse* job, relative to SLUSD, of educating what I presume you'd call "stressed" kids--those in poor socioeconomic strata, blacks and Hispanics of whatever color. Yet, you hold BUSD up as a great system. It's not. The only reason you and your fellow travelers in the Broadmoor/Estates/Bay-O think it is, is due to the presence of "enough" upper class white/Asian kids who perform well enough to drag up the overall scores. This has a beneficial effect on property values, demographics etc in places like Berkeley and certain neighborhoods in Oakland. How to quickly achieve that in SLUSD? Re-organize the schools so that they're K-8. We'd automatically get better scoring K-8 schools in the Roosevelt/Bancroft districts, and with those high performing schools in the Manor. With a stroke, you'd get 40-50% of K-8 kids in SLUSD in "high performing" API 800+ schools. And Fred, we'd just have to disagree here. Schools of reasonable size like Hillcrest (K-8, upper class area) do just fine, I think a similar dynamic would work here in the Estates etc.
David April 15, 2013 at 09:54 am
Leah, I *highly* doubt the kids' poor outcomes result form "everyday stress." As I'veRead More repeatedly pointed out, 7/8 of my great-grandparents never progressed passed 8th or 9th grade, yet they all achieved higher levels of literacy and numeracy than those demonstrated repeatedly by Mr. Heverly's high school students. As for everyday stresses, need we go into life in the 1880's/1890's and how easy people have it today? You want to compare today's "stresses" to those of being a black girl in Mobile Alabama in 1890, or a black guy in Beaumont Texas in 1890? Moving on to today's world, and your ridiculous comments. As Fred points out, kids today get food paid for by us taxpayers, classes under 30 students (not that class size has *EVER* been demonstrated to do anything for students, but it does increase the numbers of teacher union members...). Cont..
Fred Eiger April 15, 2013 at 02:23 am
I doubt it David, times have gotten worse. With billions of money wasted on welfare, rentRead More subsidies, free school breakfasts and lunches all we have to show are fat, lazy ignoramus' sloths who only want more welfare and continue to produce idiots. Leah, your educational views are abject failures. It's times for you and your ilk to just go away and leave the educational system to the adults who know what works.