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Moms Talk: Keeping Up the Romance After Kids

With two teenage daughters, local Mom Stacy Blom shares how she keeps the romance alive with her hubby.

Patch: Are you convinced the chocolates, jewelry and roses are a thing of the past, or are you determined to keep up the romance?

My husband is usually pretty good at acknowledging Valentine's Day with something. Usually a floral bouquet to grace my dining room table. I love fresh flowers at any time during the year (hint hint).

As for chocolates, not really my favorite. I'm more of a Hot Tamales type gal and jewelry just isn't practical at this time in our lives. There is more important things to spend our money on.

Romance? What is that? I have to admit that my husband has never been much of a romantic. I shouldn't expect something from him now that he didn't have 25 years ago when I married him.

He is a great provider, dad and husband but when it comes to romance, it's just not his thing. He's never been one to plan a special evening or event. It's always been up to me and sometimes I just don't feel like doing it. Between work schedules, schooling and practices, it's not even practical anymore.

Patch: How do you get creative and make time for your significant other?

Unfortunately, with two older kids at home, there isn't much "alone" time. Someone is always around.

Every so often we go out on a date and say how we should do it more often but then it's months before we do it again. Our schedules are too busy to just go away overnight and for the longest time, we just couldn't afford that luxury. 

Needless to say, when we do get a free moment, we make the most of it because it doesn't happen too often.

Patch: Do you think date night is important? Where do you usually go and what do you do with the kids?

I think a date night is absolutely important and I wish we did it more often but I feel guilty leaving my 14-year-old alone while we go out. The ideal time is when the kids already have plans but that doesn't always happen at the same time.

It's actually quite nice having a dinner conversation that isn't geared around the kids and what they're doing. In actuality, we should make more time for each other but it's much easier said than done!

Leah Hall February 16, 2012 at 06:11 AM
Like weddings these days, there is more than enough hype and promotions compelling us to spend money and "guilt" our partners into shopping for an expensive gift or dinners out and fabulous get-aways. For both weddings and Valentines celebrations, I think the simplest and most effective thing to keep in mind is that these special days are not the pinnacle life event that the wedding and retail industries make them out to be. They provide a moment to celebrate, reflect, and express the joy of loving and being loved. The proof is in the pudding - whatever means each of us decides to use to express authentic feelings will mean the most and ultimately be the most lasting.
Nancy Pascale February 16, 2012 at 11:42 PM
Stacy is a great read, she should write a column all her own!
Stacy Blom February 17, 2012 at 12:30 AM
I am happy to report that I did receive my annual floral arrangement that is absolutely adorable in a Hershey Kiss candy dish! However, I often wonder what it would be like to be thought of when my husband isn't "guilted" into shopping for me! As a mom and wife, I am constantly required to remember everyone all the time! No one has to worry about having enough tooth paste, toilet paper, where their next meal is coming from, etc. etc. Just once, I would love to be thought of at any random moment. The simplest thing would have much more meaning than a floral arrangement on an occasion. Don't get me wrong, I still want my floral arrangement but to be thought of with the simplest gesture any other time, would really rock my world! Just a box of Hot Tamales because you're at the store would mean I was thought of outside of the everyday "mom"/"wife" role! I'm not extravagant....it's the simple things in life that mean the most! Nancy, you must be my biggest fan or you are forced to read my responses because no one else is contributing! Thanks for your support. Leah, always appreciate your input! Thanks for taking the time.
Analisa Harangozo February 17, 2012 at 01:06 AM
Yay, Stacy! Glad to hear that! Preach on... You and every other mom deserves a little recognition every now and then =)
Leah Hall February 17, 2012 at 07:33 AM
Hmm...I seem to have hit a nerve. :) I'm married to an adorable, brilliant, absent minded professor. What can I say? Case in point, I knew what I was getting into when we first met in college. I met him for lunch (he was a post doc at University of Washington in Seattle in the applied math department). He got up from his desk and I looked down at his feet. He was wearing one brown loafer on one foot and a white athletic shoe on the other! His professor was no better, he was famous for wearing "pink" track shorts to work (which probably were white prior to getting mixed with red socks in the wash). It takes all kinds. :)

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