.
Feedback

Meetings Which Seldom Have a Happy Ending

Columnist Jerry Heverly discusses what goes on during student/parent/counselor meetings and how most times they end up as documentation of failed hopes.

(Editor's note: This column is written by High School English teacher Jerry Heverly. Its tag line is inspired by education blogger Joe Bower who says that when his students do an experiment, learning is the priority. Getting the correct answer is entirely secondary.)

These next few weeks I have several meetings scheduled. Each time I attend

one of these I leave with a feeling that I am a true coward.

Many of the meetings are held in a windowless room about the size of my
small kitchen. A table fills half the space with chairs arrayed around it. The room is Spartan with little or no decoration on the walls.

Into this room are gathered one student, his or her parents (sometimes only
one parent), a counselor, and several teachers. Occasionally an administrator drops in.

The counselor is there to lead the discussion. The teachers are there
to “testify” about the realities.

The parents seem to have a variety of motives for joining: they want to hear
from the school about their child’s progress; often they want to ask for help in
motivating their child to do better in school; rarely they want to complain about the way their son or daughter is being treated by teachers or by peers.

I can only guess at what goes on in the mind of the student sitting surrounded by six or more adults commenting on the child’s behavior and motivation.

The counselor/moderator always invites the student to speak first. Each time
this happens I say a silent prayer that the young person will break the mold and say something assertive and candid.

“My grades are lousy because I don’t do any schoolwork,” they might say. “I
don’t do any schoolwork because I don’t like school. It’s boring. I prefer play. My parents, here, are feeding and clothing me and I know they’ll continue to feed and clothe me regardless of how I do in school, so why should I go to all the trouble of writing essays and solving pointless equations when I can play video games instead?”

They don’t say that, of course. Mostly they mumble the apologies and the
vows to do better that they think we adults are seeking.

“Why aren’t you doing your homework, Johnny?” asks the counselor.

“I don’t understand the work,” says Johnny.

“Do you ask for help when you don’t understand?” queries the counselor.

It’s at this point that I really begin to squirm in my chair. My eyes are
generally tracing the grain in the wood of the table. My hands are bunched together between my knees.

The student at this point has generally run out of things to say.

The counselor and the teachers now begin to bring out the explosives: grade
reports that lay out the student’s failings item by item, quiz by quiz, missing
assignments by missing assignment.

Biology test, Oct. 22: grade 14 percent
Math quiz, Nov. 12: grade 54 percent
English homework done: 32 percent

The parents talk about the things they’ve done to try to motivate their child.

The counselor is likely to suggest withholding privileges (no TV after six, no
cellphone) or bribing with rewards.

I don’t dare mention my aversion to this sort of thing since the day I read
Alfie Kohn’s book (Punished by Rewards).

Testing for learning disabilities is a common option that comes up. Maybe
the child has ADHD or is a candidate for Special Education.

I dread this moment. If I remain silent I feel complicit in the inevitable
drugging of some of my students with Ritalin or Adderall.

I want to refer to the old verities: maybe he’s just lazy? Or maybe he sees no
value to school?

These gatherings seldom have a happy ending.

Teachers pledge to change seating arrangements or to offer after-school
tutoring. We all say we’ll give the parents weekly progress updates.

Occasionally one of these gatherings sparks real, positive change; most times
they end up as documentation of failed hopes.

Read other columns from the Entirely Secondary archive.

Get San Leandro Patch delivered by email. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @sanleandropatch. Or start your own blog

Newsletter & Alerts

Get the best stories each day and important breaking news

Subscribe

Not from San Leandro Patch? Find your Local Patch »

Fran November 29, 2012 at 05:50 pm
Yet the student will go onto pass to the next grade regardless. Just as he'll continue to be clothed and fed by his parents, its a given.
Thomas Clarke November 29, 2012 at 10:40 pm
Any adult member of the education community who allows the failure to advance ought to be punished by losing a month's pay for each kid who is advanced tothe next grade. The money saved should be used to hire replacements for the adults who quit.
Elisabeth Huffmaster December 1, 2012 at 11:55 pm
I have been in the room you describe at SLHS. Time constraints to keep paid hours down and give students a certain number of hours of instruction per year mean these meetings are primarily for students who already have problems and/or failures.
These meetings should be expected and not so dismal. Charts on the wall could give ideas about the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, different intelligences, teaching modalities, high school graduation requirements, ROP and trade opportunities and UC/State requirements. At minimum give the child a chance to practice interviewing and perhaps introducing, presenting themselves and problem-solving. I am hoping Response to Intervention, the new scheme to catch students before they fail will eventually lead to just such a development. The reality is involved teachers and parents do meet on their own time, but conferences like you describe should allow everyone to see the spectrum of their school community. Communication and relationship does not just happen automatically. Education is a partnership, especially with the child and the people who are legally responsible for the child. We have meetings in elementary school and for children with individual education programs and 504 plans. Team communication with the child whom we are guiding should not stop even if the meeting structure changes significantly with the child's age and stage.
Note Article
Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
Rob Rich June 19, 2013 at 08:32 am
I'll spell it out for you David, you want it to fail. That way it will fit nicely into your worldRead More view. Just like you want public schools to fail. In the meantime, many committed, intelligent, dedicated people are working very hard to address real problems.
David June 19, 2013 at 11:30 am
I don't want it to fail, but it shall, for the reasons I've laid out. Just like the public schools.Read More Indeed, as pointed out numerous times, there are ways for the public schools to be successful. These avenues to success are either actively thwarted by committed, dedicated people (like teachers' unions) or actively ignored (by those, like you, who feel that you can still "fix" a system that is structured incorrectly from top to bottom).
David June 19, 2013 at 11:35 am
Also, you're addressing a "problem" with this housing project that *does not exist* as IRead More have pointed out repeatedly with real data--there is ample "affordable housing" in SL, and there is even more in directly adjacent (even on mass transit routes) areas like Hayward and Oakland. Typically when "fixing" a non-existent problem, you end up converting whatever fictional problem you're addressing into a real problem of a different variety. This is amply reviewed by the maxim: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." In the meantime, other people are working very hard to address *real* problems indeed, not those of their fevered imaginations.
Erica June 18, 2013 at 07:16 pm
What brand is the pastry cutter?
Rowena Peñalba June 18, 2013 at 11:27 pm
It's slightly used but I don't remember where I bought it from. I don't see any brand name on it. IRead More just priced it based on the lowest one available on Amazon. If you're interested, make me an offer. Maybe we can agree on it. Thanks for your inquiry.
Elaine Cooperstein June 19, 2013 at 03:16 pm
Can't remember what night this was, but recently we were startled by noises and decided it must haveRead More been fireworks at the coliseum.
Mattie Ignacio June 13, 2013 at 06:02 pm
it was a hundred times better...it is now useless!
Richard Eisenman June 14, 2013 at 11:17 am
I'm not a very regular viewer. Could you be a bit more specific about what changed recently (plusesRead More and minuses)? Thanks.
Jessica Gardner June 18, 2013 at 05:43 pm
i agree!!
Opera On Tap Co-Manager, Indre Viskontas
Joanna Dyer June 12, 2013 at 07:16 am
F
Molly Rosen June 14, 2013 at 04:36 pm
One of the best operas ever. I hope to see it. How excited for OOT and San Leandro!
Susan Reisz June 10, 2013 at 07:29 pm
Can you reprint this several times prior to June 27. I don't want people to forget about it? Thanks
Unstable vs. stable world views
Michael Moore June 2, 2013 at 06:02 pm
Leah, do you have the authorization from Disney for the use of the copyrighted Dumbo character youRead More use for your blog? I thought that the policy of Patch was to deny access to non-authorized materials such as this.
Leah Hall June 2, 2013 at 08:12 pm
Nope.
Leah Hall June 2, 2013 at 09:44 pm
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a7/Dumbo-1941-poster.jpg My 13 year old daughter justRead More explained how to search www.creativecommons.org.